The Valentine's Day Massacre

I hate Valentine's Day.

This is not one of those posts where the angry single girl vents her frustration at being alone -- for one thing, I am not single, nor am I exceptionally angry. Instead, this is a call to arms for all the couples out there to reject the false and manufactured romance that is built upon this questionable holiday.

Honestly, I support the theory -- the spirit -- of Valentine's Day. I agree with cynics and naysayers that you should cherish and appreciate your loved ones every day, that you should always seek out and attempt romance, and that by and large an unexpected gift or loving gesture is much more powerful than an anticipated one, but I also acknowledge that, for most people, life gets in the way. It's hard to be romantic when the kids are fighting and nobody made dinner and you've run out of milk and the toilet's backed up. Bills and work and responsibility almost always take precedence over snuggling on the to-do list. That's why it's nice to have a day or two set aside, some time already marked on the calendar when you're reminded to make sure your partner knows how much he or she means to you. But frankly, Valentine's Day has gotten too big for its britches.

Instead of a reminder, it's a judgment:
Did you make plans? Reservations at the swankiest, most expensive restaurant in town? I hope you bought your wife the newest, biggest, 3-stone diamond-heart-forever-joined pendant design. Don't forget the KY-Intense! Do you have a babysitter? What if your babysitter has a date? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DATE??

How many movies and sitcom plots have been built around the premise of needing a date for Valentine's? It's ridiculous, is what it is, and no fun at all. So boycott Hallmark, avoid the jewelry stores, cook dinner at home, and don't even think about buying a purpley-pink fuzzy stuffed animal of any kind. Say I love you. Write it on a note. Tell them a thousand times. Do something thoughtful. Spend time alone. Go somewhere nice if you want. Just maybe do it on January 29.